I have been putting it off for a long time and now, it's time to get serious. To get serious about writing again. It's been far too long since I've written anything substantial and as you can see from the blog, I haven't written on here in two years! Yikes, where has the time gone?
Now that summer is here and the children have been swarming around me like little bees, I keep getting this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something. It just occurred to me that I was forgetting to feed myself, to nuture myself and to follow my dreams just a little more each day! Why do I seem to forget to take care of me?
As a mom, I know intellectually know that I put my husband and children before myself. I'm first and foremost concerned about their thoughts, feelings and welfare well above that of my own. I even put other people in front of myself. Not trying to be a martyr or anything, but I've really done this pretty much my whole life. But I've decided, this is my year! This is the year that I get it together, so to speak, and do some things for myself that are meaningful and rich.
Thanks for sharing the journey with me!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Scared
While I'm trying to figure out all the ins and outs of this blogging thing, I've just been visiting a few sites to get some ideas on layouts and script styles, fonts and backgrounds. What I've realized is that I'm quite inept when it comes to this particular technology and am learning "as I go". When it hit me, isn't that all what we're doing in this life, learning as we go? God inspires me to write, and it is my fervent desire to write all that He has allowed me to experience and see in my journeys and I hope this is something that speaks to you in some small way.
Right now, I'm worried and a little bit bothered. Writers are a dime a dozen ... just like singers, dancers, doctors and lawyers. Am I good enough, will people enjoy what I write and more importantly, will the Lord still speak through me as He sees fit and am I translating His thoughts properly? I do use my personal stories and observations to get a point across, but it's God who even leads me there. For those of you who know me, I'm generally a very private person. I don't share all that I am with you, unless you sit with me and I open up to you. Opening up isn't hard ... what's hard is being honest about my feelings and sharing all that I am with you.
Satan has worked hard to chip away at my self-esteem all my life. So the fact that I'm even blogging and sharing is a BIG-HUGE deal for me. I'm certainly not the idea christian, nor perfect and I know that He doesn't call us to be any of those things, just to follow and love Him. And, I do ... my love for HIM is bigger than anything in my life. Bigger than family, bigger than children, bigger than my best friends, bigger than my most beloved husband. All of those things are icing on this cake of life! Doesn't mean I don't love you all dearly, don't get me wrong on this, please! God has to come first, or I can't do anything at all, and I know it.
Anyway, back on what my original train of thought was ... I was reading over blogs from some other sites and I was just in awe. So beautiful, so eloquent ... am I capable of writing like they do? I was starting to feel very insecure and I was having second thoughts. Should I even be attempting to write? Will anyone see it, appreciate it? Then God spoke to me saying, "What does that matter? I asked you to write, do it for me." So, here it goes ...
Easter has always been very special to me ... way above Christmas in my personal opinion. When the Passion of the Christ came out a few years ago, I just knew that this would help people finally "get it". That God loved them, that He allowed His only son to die for THEM! That would put it all to rest, the questions, the doubting. Everyone would come to their senses, fall to their knees and acknowledge Him, finally. Some of those things did happen, people repented sins, acknowledged and accepted Him as their personal savior. Awesome! What I didn't see coming is that He was going to teach me the same lesson. Four years after this film debuted, He showed me who He was through a health crisis. He taught me that He was the one in control of the universe and all I had to do was trust Him. If you've ever had a situation where there was NOTHING on this earth that could save your life, that your family was told you would probably not live through the crisis, you know what I'm talking about.
I will share with you my story later and I have site on Caring Bridge that I'm going post here. For right now let me get back to where I need to be. After my surgery, I have been left with very large scar on my abdomen and I have a physical deformity that is hard to live with from time to time. Being a woman, of course I want to look my best and well, this is a scar that can be covered but I carry it with me all the time. While I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, because bathing suit season will shortly be upon us, I will probably once again not venture out to the beach or lake any time soon. The Lord showed me that we all carry scars and wounds with us all the time. Some are easily seen by others and then there are scars like mine that are covered by clothes, and even some that are deeper still, hidden inside our bodies. Wow! That really spoke to me.
I have one visible scar on my face that I received many years ago from a car accident; then there is the most recent scars from my surgery from last year and even stretch marks from pregnancy that no one can see, thank goodness! And then there is the emotional scars from life experiences that are painful and are buried deep within. We all have these, maybe not as dramatic as a visible scar but we all have emotional scars of some sort. Jesus' personal suffering for our sins, comes clearly to mind. That we who are sinners, who ran from God, who thought our way was the best way, deeply hurt our Lord. But He who is the most righteous, most Holy, chose to save us from ourselves. And He asks us daily to pick up our cross and follow Him. He is now asking, will you allow Him to complete the work He began in you or will you go your own way?
I am learning, just like you are, that His way is the best way! His way is the least painful and peaceful. Will you follow Him today or go your own way?
Right now, I'm worried and a little bit bothered. Writers are a dime a dozen ... just like singers, dancers, doctors and lawyers. Am I good enough, will people enjoy what I write and more importantly, will the Lord still speak through me as He sees fit and am I translating His thoughts properly? I do use my personal stories and observations to get a point across, but it's God who even leads me there. For those of you who know me, I'm generally a very private person. I don't share all that I am with you, unless you sit with me and I open up to you. Opening up isn't hard ... what's hard is being honest about my feelings and sharing all that I am with you.
Satan has worked hard to chip away at my self-esteem all my life. So the fact that I'm even blogging and sharing is a BIG-HUGE deal for me. I'm certainly not the idea christian, nor perfect and I know that He doesn't call us to be any of those things, just to follow and love Him. And, I do ... my love for HIM is bigger than anything in my life. Bigger than family, bigger than children, bigger than my best friends, bigger than my most beloved husband. All of those things are icing on this cake of life! Doesn't mean I don't love you all dearly, don't get me wrong on this, please! God has to come first, or I can't do anything at all, and I know it.
Anyway, back on what my original train of thought was ... I was reading over blogs from some other sites and I was just in awe. So beautiful, so eloquent ... am I capable of writing like they do? I was starting to feel very insecure and I was having second thoughts. Should I even be attempting to write? Will anyone see it, appreciate it? Then God spoke to me saying, "What does that matter? I asked you to write, do it for me." So, here it goes ...
Easter has always been very special to me ... way above Christmas in my personal opinion. When the Passion of the Christ came out a few years ago, I just knew that this would help people finally "get it". That God loved them, that He allowed His only son to die for THEM! That would put it all to rest, the questions, the doubting. Everyone would come to their senses, fall to their knees and acknowledge Him, finally. Some of those things did happen, people repented sins, acknowledged and accepted Him as their personal savior. Awesome! What I didn't see coming is that He was going to teach me the same lesson. Four years after this film debuted, He showed me who He was through a health crisis. He taught me that He was the one in control of the universe and all I had to do was trust Him. If you've ever had a situation where there was NOTHING on this earth that could save your life, that your family was told you would probably not live through the crisis, you know what I'm talking about.
I will share with you my story later and I have site on Caring Bridge that I'm going post here. For right now let me get back to where I need to be. After my surgery, I have been left with very large scar on my abdomen and I have a physical deformity that is hard to live with from time to time. Being a woman, of course I want to look my best and well, this is a scar that can be covered but I carry it with me all the time. While I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, because bathing suit season will shortly be upon us, I will probably once again not venture out to the beach or lake any time soon. The Lord showed me that we all carry scars and wounds with us all the time. Some are easily seen by others and then there are scars like mine that are covered by clothes, and even some that are deeper still, hidden inside our bodies. Wow! That really spoke to me.
I have one visible scar on my face that I received many years ago from a car accident; then there is the most recent scars from my surgery from last year and even stretch marks from pregnancy that no one can see, thank goodness! And then there is the emotional scars from life experiences that are painful and are buried deep within. We all have these, maybe not as dramatic as a visible scar but we all have emotional scars of some sort. Jesus' personal suffering for our sins, comes clearly to mind. That we who are sinners, who ran from God, who thought our way was the best way, deeply hurt our Lord. But He who is the most righteous, most Holy, chose to save us from ourselves. And He asks us daily to pick up our cross and follow Him. He is now asking, will you allow Him to complete the work He began in you or will you go your own way?
I am learning, just like you are, that His way is the best way! His way is the least painful and peaceful. Will you follow Him today or go your own way?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A Story to Tell
In trying to access another account that I have to express my daily observations, I have decided to try blogging instead. I must admit that I don't know what I'm doing; I'll need to consult with my IT Manager, my husband, when he arrives home that is and see what kind of tweeking I'll need to do to make this page look better and to add some special touches, here and there.
It has only been recently that I've decided take the thoughts swimming in my head and put them down in written form for mass consumption. Quite frankly, I don't know which is scarier, the thoughts in my head or the openness in sharing those thoughts with everyone. I don't consider myself the typical Christian; I don't pretend to be perfect and in fact I ran from God for many years in my early adulthood because I thought He couldn't possibly want someone like me in His Kingdom. Here in the bible belt, you aren't very free to express yourself, because; let's be honest, there are many who are judgmental and look down on you if you don't pretend to have it all together and everything figured out. But the truth is, that's no our purpose here in earth. If we had it all figured out, there would really be no reason to be alive. We'd all live in heaven with our Father, because we would already be perfect, what would there be to learn?
Anyway, there is so much more to all of this ... and I can't wait to share those things with you. I'm just your average woman, living an average but incredibly blessed life and hope that you enjoy my musings and also the journey that we are all experiencing in this life together. Living is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure, but for the brave. We are all warriors of one sort or another. Let's begin our trip together. I look forward to travelling with you!
Blessings,
Shannon
It has only been recently that I've decided take the thoughts swimming in my head and put them down in written form for mass consumption. Quite frankly, I don't know which is scarier, the thoughts in my head or the openness in sharing those thoughts with everyone. I don't consider myself the typical Christian; I don't pretend to be perfect and in fact I ran from God for many years in my early adulthood because I thought He couldn't possibly want someone like me in His Kingdom. Here in the bible belt, you aren't very free to express yourself, because; let's be honest, there are many who are judgmental and look down on you if you don't pretend to have it all together and everything figured out. But the truth is, that's no our purpose here in earth. If we had it all figured out, there would really be no reason to be alive. We'd all live in heaven with our Father, because we would already be perfect, what would there be to learn?
Anyway, there is so much more to all of this ... and I can't wait to share those things with you. I'm just your average woman, living an average but incredibly blessed life and hope that you enjoy my musings and also the journey that we are all experiencing in this life together. Living is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure, but for the brave. We are all warriors of one sort or another. Let's begin our trip together. I look forward to travelling with you!
Blessings,
Shannon
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